


Just Call Me Tiger

by thefishismine



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Inappropriate Erections, Other, Possibly Pre-Slash, Pre-Series, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 08:59:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5157896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefishismine/pseuds/thefishismine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rimmer makes the mistake of telling Lister what Yvonne McGruder referred to him as during their brief love affair. True to his nature, Lister decides to tease him about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Call Me Tiger

“Did you and McGruder have any nicknames for each other?”

“Beg pardon?”

Rimmer was slightly taken aback by his bunkmate’s question. It was the first time he’d heard him speak all afternoon. Since Kochanski broke up with him, Lister spent most of his time brooding in his bunk. Rimmer was thankful for the long periods of silence. 

“I used to call Krissie all sorts of things. Hun, Ange, baby…” Lister let out a long, anguished sigh. 

What a drama queen, thought Rimmer.

“You and McGruder were sort of involved. She must have called you something in those twelve minutes other than Norman.”

“Certainly not. She was a woman of class, Lister. She didn’t resort to spouting off romantic clichés.”

“That’s probably because you weren’t doing it properly…” Lister muttered under his breath. 

Rimmer pretended to ignore Lister’s remark. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, a smug smile plastered on his face. “Actually, Lister,” he said, raising his voice slightly, “she did have one name for me.” 

“Oh yeah?”

“Tiger.” Rimmer closed his eyes in reminiscence. 

“What?” 

Rimmer growled low in his throat before opening his eyes once again. He turned to face Lister, who was staring at him incredulously. 

“Oh yes. When I said I gave her one, Listy, I wasn’t lying.” 

“Tiger. What, so you tried to eat her? Savage, and all that?”

“Well…I suppose you could say that…” Rimmer smirked at the disgusted look on Lister’s face. 

Lister jumped down from his bunk and made a beeline for the door. “That’s totally gross, Rimmer. I don’t want to hear any more.”

“I was an animal, Lister!” he shouted as Lister walked briskly down the corridor. 

 

Two weeks later…

 

“Pass me that wrench, will ya, tiger?”

Rimmer started to reach for the wrench on the trolley when Lister’s words made him stop abruptly. 

“What did you just say?” he asked, his voice cracking slightly. 

Lister did his best to keep a straight face as he looked Rimmer in the eye. “The wrench,” he repeated slowly, his eyes twinkling with mischief. 

Rimmer cleared his throat and handed the wrench off to Lister with what he hoped was a threatening glare. Lister took it from him and bent down to tighten a loose bolt on the vending machine. 

I could have sworn I heard him call me tiger, thought Rimmer. The little goit is trying to get in my head. I bet he’s jealous. I bet he wishes his girlfriends called him tiger. Yes sir, I gave her one. Rimmer smiled to himself as he remembered one of the nicest few minutes of his life. McGruder in a peephole bra, her hands grabbing at his trousers, it seemed she couldn’t get her clothes off quickly enough…

“Rimmer, are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna help me?” 

Lister’s voice snapped Rimmer back to reality.

“W-What?”

Lister was staring at Rimmer with a bemused expression. He struggled to hold back a grin. “You okay, Rimsy? You look a little flushed.” 

Rimmer cleared his throat once more, trying to regain his composure. 

“I’m fine, Lister. Just get back to work.”

Lister slowly walked behind Rimmer and put the wrench back on the trolley, brushing his hand lightly across his stomach. “Whatever you say, tiger,” Lister growled into his ear. Rimmer let out a small squeak as he felt his cock begin to harden in his trousers. He instinctively thrust his clipboard down to cover his growing erection before realizing how obvious that must look. His ears burned with embarrassment. 

“Lister, I…I have some important business to attend to that I forgot to attend to earlier. So I must…attend to it immediately. Carry on.”

Lister looked pointedly at the clipboard and smiled knowingly. “Okay, Rimmer.”

Rimmer turned sharply on his heels and walked as fast as he could towards the sleeping quarters, hiding his face in shame.


End file.
